Posted by: Michelle | October 6, 2011

A Night Owl I Am Not

What to do, what to do… 
So I have this conference call at midnight. It is currently 10:45 p.m. You can do the math. Even though it is relatively a short time in the grand scheme of life, it feels like an eternity to me. I’m a morning person. Always have been, always will be. 
Early today I decided that if I went grocery shopping at 10 p.m. it would be one way to stay awake and take care of my most hated chore. Gone are the days when I could get my sister to do it for me. At one point, I used to watch the kids whilst my sister went to the store. And I always said “hey, since you’re going to the store…” and would pull out a list with some money. Trust me, it was an ideal world. I got to spend time with the kids and get my groceries delivered. The best of both worlds! 
I didn’t quite make it to 10 before I headed out the door. I lasted about 5 seconds before I decided my sweatshirt wasn’t enough and proceeded back inside to find something a bit warmer. [Old man winter reared his ugly head yesterday – 90 to 50 virtually overnight.] I proceeded to Wal-Mart. The bane of my existence but it is cheap. Seriously, who likes to shop, for food, at Wal-Mart (or anything at Wal-Mart for that matter)?? Not to be a snob but I really do prefer Target. It’s just that we don’t have a Super Target. So off I go. 
It always starts in the parking lot. I’m not a patient person [shock!] so it is better for me to park as far away from the door as reasonable. Tonight was the exception. It was cold, dark and late. The car park was virtually empty so I parked by the door. Or so I thought. But Murphy got the last laugh. More on that later. Next is selecting a shopping cart. You have to practically have a black belt in karate to wrestle the darn thing off. Imagine my embarrassment when a little old lady came and managed to get one off with barely a flick of the wrist. She looked like she was close to 70 but the way she manhandled the trolley, she had to be a younger older looking person.
I slink away pushing my cart muttering a thank you when the front of the cart starts to shake, rattle and not roll [straight anyway]. Subtlety, I turn my head to see if I can catch the eye of the goddess of the carts but alas, she is gone. Damn, looks like I’m stuck with it. You know the feeling, where you think everyone in the store must be looking at you and your noisy cart. But the store was pretty empty unless you count the numerous pallets placed strategically around the store [in other words, in the way]. Occasionally, I would glimpse a tan and blue clad employee running around but only a few other idiots, err… customers, shopping in the middle of the night [in my world that’s pretty much how it felt]. Well, let’t s just say the only time I saw another person was when I was trying to find a particular item and as always, they were in the way, their overflowing cart parked lengthways to ensure they are blocking the entire aisle so I would have to wait [patiently] to acknowledge that they, in fact, were not the only one’s in the store. No really, take your time. I have two hours to kill anyway. 
Why is it that every time I go to Wal-Mart they are out of what I need? Doesn’t matter the day, time or circumstances. They are out of what I want. It is either an empty shelf, flavors I don’t like, sizes I don’t need, or discontinued. Every.Single.Time. Nevertheless, I managed to purchase nearly $60 worth of food. That is a lot for this traveler who typically doesn’t buy much (considering that none of the items were nonfood). Next challenged was finding the one open check lane. At least the woman was competent. This isn’t always the case. Why I remember one time… well, let’s just say it wouldn’t be politically correct to say this woman was “slow” and I don’t mean speed. Well, I do mean speed but it was because she was… very careful about how she rang up each item as she told me several times that she was in a hurry because she was late for her lunch. It literally took 15 minutes to ring up 8 minutes. Anyway, who rings you up can be just as amazing as the customers you sometimes run into. Just sayin’…
As I turn to head back the direction from which I came, a woman lets me know that the door is locked. Sigh. Why am I not surprised? She informs me the door is locked every night at 10. Like I should know this. Can’t she tell I’m not a night owl and this is not my normal routine? Apparently I hid it well. I did a turn around and pushed my wobbly cart back to the other side of the store where I was just a few minutes ago. 
Just for that, I decided I wasn’t going to put my cart away [yes, I’m one of those people]. But after unloading the bags and climbing into my car, I looked over at the cart and realized I couldn’t do it. So I got out of the car and pushed the cart over to the return area. I just can’t help myself.
So here I am, still killing time after putting the groceries away. Thirty minutes to go and I can’t stop yawning. I guess I… can’t even remember what I was going to type. A night owl, I am not but I think I mentioned that earlier.  

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